During a recent coaching session with one of my clients we got onto the subject of Personal and Impersonal thought. Below is part of how the session unfolded. My client is a successful businessman and has his fingers in a number of pies; one of them is running a group of traders. During this session he presented this particular challenge:
Client: The thought of work makes me frustrated and I am really not enjoying going in at the moment.
He has lots going on at the moment and feels he is being pulled in many directions and most of them very challenging. He believes a number of the traders maybe leaving his company and going elsewhere. He is being asked to carry out a lot of work for these guys and isn’t too excited to be doing this work as he feels they have stabbed him in the back and he will be getting nothing in return for his endeavours.
SD: It’s interesting for me how I can go from the Personal to the Impersonal and how my whole landscape changes when I do.
Client: Please explain.
SD: When I am in my personal world, it’s all about ME. How am I doing? Why has that happened? Why has that not happened? When are things going to go my way? Why hasn’t my wife done that? It’s like I am looking at life through a straw, it’s narrow, difficult to see through and to think clearly. Everything seems a problem. I have judgement and expectation all over the place and everyone and everything is out to get me. I create a lot of negative movies in my head and they look real.
Client: That’s pretty much where I am at the moment but I think I am right to see things like this?
SD: I’m not saying you are or aren’t right. When I think I am right it is usually a good gauge of me being in Personal thought. However, when I’m in my Impersonal world, it’s not about me, I take a back seat. As such I now see life for what it is. Judgement and expectation fall away. Life seems full of possibilities, everyone and everything looks just right. The feeling between the two is hugely different. One can be tight and urgent and the other is neutral and relaxed.
Client: Are you saying I’m in my personal thinking about this?
SD: How does it feel?
Client: I just feel everyone is taking me for a ride…..Mmmm, I can see how I may be taking everything personally at the moment.
SD: Is it possible that you are seeing this purely through your eyes?
Client: Yes. I hadn’t considered what is going on for them, it was all about me.
As his mind began to settle the self-correcting system that is in all of us allowed him to see things with a sense of clarity.
Client: I don’t even know if they are leaving and I don’t know how or if it’s going to affect me. I have just created a story on what I think is happening and going to happen. They are probably just looking out for their best interests and I don’t have to take it personally.
He looked upwards, pondered, smiled and sat upright. It was as if he had just put in new batteries into an erratic working remote control. Suddenly it just worked.
Client: It was all me all my own doing, I was the one that had created all of that.
I am constantly going from Personal to Impersonal and visa versa, as we all are. This is so natural and so human. We just have a lot more going for us than we may realise, the system is designed to let us know which world we are in and as such allow us to dance between the two. Let your feelings be the guide. They will always let you know whether you are in your Personal or Impersonal Mind.