Often at this time of year I would often ask myself ”how can this year be my best year?”.
This would lead me into a search of, how am I doing and how can I do better? What do I want to achieve, how I can improve? etc. After reading an article recently a fresh question came to mind….
How can this be my most enjoyable year?
With a small change between’ best’ and ‘enjoyable’, a lot seemed to change. I realised that I was always looking to improve and when I did improve in a certain area, I would then look to improve some more. Thus meaning wherever I was, I would always be looking to be somewhere else.
As I pondered this new question “how can this be my most enjoyable year”? I had a host of new thinking. Firstly, I felt more relaxed, as if I had just stepped off of the treadmill. There seemed nowhere for me to get to. I saw more clearly how my mind had previously tricked me out of the moment and into the illusion that somewhere, even anywhere, was better than where I was and if I could just get there, everything would be different.
A metaphor that I love is about a group of children at a fun fair in a wooden barrel. As they walk in the barrel it seems they have to walk quicker to keep up with the barrel and the quicker they walk the faster the barrel moves. Eventually they would fall over and it would stop. However, they were never keeping up with the barrel, but the barrel was keeping up with them. But for their feet moving the way they were the barrel would be still. This is how life used to seem to me, that I was keeping up with life and the more I wanted, the bigger P+L I was after, the better I thought I had to be, was like feet in the barrel, always moving but never seeming to get where I thought I wanted to be.
This took me back to when I was first introduced the ‘inside out nature of life’. Previously I believed that striving for more, to improve, that when I get there or have that my life will be better, happier or I will be more successful. On my journey to understanding how life/ experience/ mind works, It was pointed out to me that this is part of the illusion and that there is only the here and now and the clearer we see the illusion the more the noise falls away. The more the noise falls away the better we do.
”Can it really be that simple?”, was a question I would often ask myself… Yes, it can.